The 3 Hours Lena Was An Only Child And Other Things of Importance

Last Saturday Lena got to do her favorite thing: pretend she doesn't have brothers and go on a date with Jeff and me.
We ate treats and saw a Christmas Carol at Geva. It had some scary parts. She liked that.
Then a short 3 hours later she fell asleep on the way home and we were a family of 5 again. She didn't like that.
We celebrated our 7th anniversary this year like the true parents we are and attended a lights celebration at Lena's kindergarten. After the kids sang they played a slideshow of them doing various things in their classroom and it was accompanied by a very sentimental country song that made me cry right there in my seat in the dark. Cue the lights! Then we talked about how it feels like we've been parents longer than we've been married. I love being a parent. Being married is ok too. 
And since Christmas isn't for the schools we have to supplement at home with forgetting to water our Christmas tree and eating too many Christmas treats and hastily opening the door to about 30 neighborhood Christmas carolers the other night. I think 2 out of the three children were crying and dinner was burning and I was probably wearing something awesome. Then they sang the figgy pudding part and I smiled and shut the door. I'm a good neighbor like that.

Aside from 3 sick children and a dying tree this week I think we're ready for action on Sunday. And to think I found myself complaining we had to go to church on Christmas! I'm pretty sure that is NOT honoring the true meaning of Christmas. I plan on starting now, after I get Lena's teacher a gift card and get dressed and make a dent in the laundry and vacuum up pine needles and wrap all the presents that are scattered in the basement. Why do I always wait to do that? Next year I'm going to do more true meaning stuff and wrap all my presents as they arrive. 
Or maybe we'll just buy a goat for a family in need instead of it all.


And weather report states it will be 40 and sunny this Christmas day and that is truly a Christmas miracle. 
And the truth is, I am so grateful for the birth of our Savior and the birth of my three sweet children and hard working husband. 
Especially during country songs and Christmastime.

I Wonder How Many Times She Will Graduate Before Graduation

We got there early and had seats in the front row.

That is unusual for us(me).

It was Lena's preschool graduation and I wasn't going to watch it behind a sea of heads. I wanted to savor the last moments of her preschool-hood. The songs were just as they should be and I remembered my camera but forgot my memory card. BabaJuje's came on loan to the rescue. I didn't cry, but her teacher did-bless her. She was born to this earth to teach preschool. Well I'm sure she has other purposes, but teaching preschool is up there at the top.

The emotion of her growing up so fast catches me off guard. Completely out of nowhere and randomly my eyes welt up with tears. They are made up of one part pride and one part sadness that this stage is over.

I'm happy when the emotion comes, it means underneath all this kid-raisin' shell shocked exterior I still have feelings.

And while graduating from preschool isn't really something Lena accomplished(everyone's a winner?)- we indulged her for the day because for us, this milestone is huge.

This means she is moving on to the next thing.

Kindergarten.

It's the bittersweet inevitable.

And I'm sure this won't be the last time I blubber on about it.

Then later on during the day she pestered and teased Simon till he screamed and cried and I was happy again she would have somewhere else to go for stimulation.

After all, Kindergarten is only half day.

Birth Junkie

Waiting for a baby to be born is a test of patience.

Yowza. You can say that again.

Waiting for a baby to be born is a test of patience.

To help ease the time, I like to read birth stories. I'm a weirdo nut for them. I'll take them anywhere I can get them.

Lately I've been reading lots of them in books, but also on Design Mom.

I love that she is posting all kinds of different birth stories.

Namely this one. If you haven't read it, you really must take time to do so.

Simply beautiful.

Do you like to read birth stories?

I believe birth stories can change our perspective or mindset about birth and link us, as women, to one another. All powerful and unique in their own ways.

Get your birth junkie on.

A Monday Morning Dose of the Touchy Feelies

Thoughts and feelings for an online journal entry: Sunday, December 13, 2009

It's 10:30 p.m. on a quiet, Sunday night and I type to the (loud) sounds of a Toy Story game being played on the iPhone. I look over to the lump of white bedspread next to me on the couch and tell him gently to turn it down. He obliges as he slides his chubby finger across the screen. You see, Simon took an over two hour nap today and can't seem to fall asleep for the life of him.

Normally I would be quite frustrated with him as I listen to his little footsteps upstairs, scurrying across the hallway for the 5th time. But, tonight I chose not to. I went upstairs, picked him up from behind the door in my bedroom (where he was hiding from me) and rocked him in the chair like I used to nightly, not so long ago. He laid completely still in my arms, wide awake looking up at me, his mother. I was spiritually overcome with emotion as I felt my love for him flooding in from head to toe and we continued that way for a long peaceful while. I couldn't help but think about all the many moments like these I miss out on by letting frustration and short patience take over my daily dealings with my children.

Tonight, the last installment of Stephanie Nielson's story was published, and I read and hung on every last word. The details of her journey of the past year are impossible to imagine. Impossible. Her story, among so many that have endured hardships and trials of such nature, has particularly touched me as it speaks to me and my role as a mother. When I look at the nie-inspired silhouettes that adorn my wall I am reminded, through her remarkable story, that I can happily chose to enjoy doing what I do. Why I whole-heartedly love being a mother to my own two, soon-to-be three, sweet children. And more importantly, just how fragile and precious that gift given to me is.

It is, and always will be about the choices we make. The family we are building here on earth trumps no other task set before us. Our children and our families are the single most precious thing we possess. No question. I think as women and mothers, we all feel this in our own way. A strong desire to trudge forward through the difficulty. The important thing is to remember those feelings. And to have them live with us daily. Let that be the choice I strive continually to make.

A Motherly Milestone

I dropped her off at ballet class today.

Her first real drop-her-off-class. We talked on the way there. What it would be like. Who would be there. I peered at her through my sideways-tilted rearview mirror. Her hair was in a bun and she was fidgety. She scratched at her leotard and kicked off her shoes. She was staring out the window singing along to a White Stripes song.

It was like a Mack Truck. It was fast and I didn't see it coming. The tears. All of the sudden I felt chained to her. I panicked at the thought of dropping her off and driving away. I was aware of the fact that it was only an hour and she was beyond thrilled to be going. But still.

I parked the car, we took the elevator up with her sweet teacher, Mrs. Reback. In a short time, other tiny ballerinas showed up. I kissed her goodbye and she pranced gleefully away. With Simon on hip, I gave myself another moment on the stairs to let the motherly emotions flow, then we put ourselves in the car and drove away.

Whew, sure wasn't expecting that one.

We met a face full of happy upon pick-up, and there was plenty to talk about on the way home. Success to say the least. For her anyway.