Monday, March 04, 2013

The Five Bedroom Yacht

This morning was business as usual. It began as it does most weekdays by coaxing Lena out of bed (because she stayed up too late fixated on that second front tooth that has been dangling). Immediately followed by desperate pleading with her to eat more breakfast and quickly (always in a rush) get her on her bus, change some diapers, feed the baby, feed the boys, put a bra on, watch the snow fall outside against another gray Rochester winter day and then the first of many kitchen/dish clean-ups. Then, usually it's followed by trains, cartoons, dressing the 3 boys, nursing and getting the baby down for a nap. 
It's become our morning routine this year and it's almost the same every weekday. There is nothing specific about it that makes me unhappy yet something about it lately has left me feeling sorry for myself (can you imagine!?). All of the sudden I found myself complaining about another mess, another meal, another diaper, more laundry, exhaustion, not enough time for romance, or stimulating brain activity, or sleep (sleep!).  Just flat out ultra doses of self pity over the staleness of life day after day.
But this morning, it hit me quietly and mightily like a slap to the face. 

I was on the kitchen floor assisting Calvin with a 26-train long megatrain (normal stuff) and like a wave I was reminded (except more like reprimanded) not that my problems/ complaints weren't there or justified, or that they are magically going to disappear, but that the sort of problems I am currently and presently living and whining about every day right now are actually the BEST kind of problems to have (...said this mightily quiet reprimand slap-to-the-face). It's like as if I were a millionaire deciding between which two beautiful yachts to buy. 

Poor sad, frustrated millionaire, he is having such a hard time deciding!

HA! No, no no! That is ludicrous! Because today, it seems that poor sad Kelly is having to feed 4 beautiful, healthy children (one of which is a sweet drooling BABY), dress them in clean clothes, having to feed them good food from a stocked fridge again, having to bundle them up in warm coats and hats from our warm home and send them to schools where they are loved and their minds are nurtured. All with the support of a devoted father and loving extended family. Can you imagine such problems?! Can you? Do you have the same ones? I am humbly put in my place by my amazing ungratefulness today. So here I am, coming here to write it all down before my self pity hits the fan once again.
Because, I'll need more reminders later (this afternoon?), and I'll feel sheepish later.
And if I may third person the situation:
Truthfully Kelly, you lucky son of a B, TODAY you have some pretty fantastic problems. 

You should be so lucky, you're a millionaire vacationing on a 5 bedroom yacht! (SLAP!)

p.s. Is anyone out there? Do you read if there are no pictures? Do you want pictures? Did you miss me?


aubry. said...

i'm here! i'm here! i read! granted, i marked it as unread and came back at the end of my day... but there are blogs that i'll automatically read, no matter the kink in my schedule or the inconvenience of time (real life, not blog time)... yours being one of them.

and then there are others that aren't even worth clicking through to skim for pretty photos or worthy text. they're the ones i save to mark all as read.

i've never marked yours as read.

but then again, we instagram and we text (we text!) and both of those things seem so much more personal than a blog even.

my 2010 self just fell to the floor in disbelief.

chelsey meyer said...

yes i miss you so badly.

Kera said...

i'm here i'm here!!! I freaking love this!!! yes...i'm an un grateful brat who should punch herself in the face.

love you. i also love pictures, but i mostly love you.

amosclutchpedal said...

It's this NY winter doing it. I am feeling much the same. When spring comes and we can get out for some fresh air we'll feel much better. Oh, and if the tax return comes in soon I'll feel much better too : )

Emilie said...

i miss you! yes! please write. i love your i feel sorry for myself commuting to work in the city while my little baby girl is at home, i am jealous and would love to be building 26-car trains with her. life choices are tough because there never seems to be one 'balanced' approach. there is always boredom or frustration or something extreme built in. anyway, i love your life.

robin said...

this made me cry. seriously, i'm reading this in bed while the kids watch a movie with josh after a day of feeling sorry for myself, and i am crying.

so, thanks for this. it was a gift.

Andi said...

oh yeah, THIS is why people blog. honestly i check reader maybe once a week now, but when i saw you light up, i headed straight over. i loved this, you have a talent for writing that i so admire. since i'm kind of crummy at it, when i'm old and my children ask where the record of their childhood is, i'm thinking i'll just send them here. i'll say, "it was pretty much like this, in a different place with different characters." keep it up!

Lauren Soffe said...

This is great. Do you mind if I use it in my talk on Sunday about 'Unselfish Service'? You might not have a choice. But really, thank you for this.

Lindsey Stephens said...

I'm so happy your back!!!
I think it's the grayness of this never ending winter that has us feeling sorry for ourselves. I've been in the same rut. But I know we'll look back on these precious exhausting overwhelming years and miss them terribly when our children are out of the house and we only have our husbands to entertain us:) Maybe with spring coming soon (I hope!!) we'll start to have a more positive attitude!

Can't wait to get together in a few weeks :)

Sherry Gammon YA Author said...

Beautiful post Kelly. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's okay to have a down day ;} And I do love your pics too!

K said...

..came to your blog after watching your video on Freshly picked (my first time on the site) and this post is my life minus two kids and plus nice California weather. I gave birth to our 2nd child 4 months ago in a very traumatic birth and am coming up out of PPD thanks to Zoloft (not my first choice but it was needed) I try to remind myself daily that these are the "problems" millions of people wish for, thanks for helping me feel not so alone. I will now try to let go of the jealousy I had for your beautiful birth compared to my now 2 for 2 hard hospital V deliveries.

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