It's Like This

Today I prepared a snack for my children that consisted of carrots and hummus and milk.

Then I went to the living room and ate 3 rice crispy treats and a diet coke.

When we were at the Christmas tree lot, no matter how I begged and pleaded, Lena insisted on a short fat crooked one and cried until it was tied onto the roof of the car.

I sulked like a 5 year old.

Even though I know Jeff usually goes to bed much later than I do because he stays up to finish work I lay in bed most mornings at 6:30 pretending I don't hear Calvin down the hallway crying.

It always worked until now.

At least three times last week I didn't get dressed until after Lena got on the school bus at 11:50.

At least three times last week I napped instead of folding mountains of laundry.

At least three times last week I went unshowered.

For the first time in our married life, I was all ready to send out Christmas cards this year.

I picked layouts and designed them online then when I came back to the computer hours later, the designs were lost so I gave up and decided not to send Christmas cards this year.

When my in-laws have plans, I would rather stay home than try to find someone to watch my children for most any sort of event.

On any given day I am excited, overwhelmed, exhausted, glad, mad, energized, unfriendly, very enjoyable company, asleep or up till 2 am. It's a grab bag of emotions and actions and I'm always surprised to wake up and see who I will be that day.

Sometimes I forget I am 15 weeks pregnant and then I'm reminded when I yell at someone for something like a pillow on the ground and/or fall asleep at 8p.m.

Then there was a certain day I was home alone with Calvin and gave him and bath and suddenly I found myself soaking wet kneeing on tile floor and discovered he is more than just a pretty head of red hair. And I was entranced by his roundy cheeks and funny faces, bucky teeth and wet curls. I was caught in a moment with my third born I had hope for the future. Another one of these?! 
Children are the best!

Then he got mad and slipped and then tried to climb out of the bathtub and I was snapped back to reality and suddenly found myself very hungry and annoyed at all the messes around me. I tripped over a toy left at the top of the stairs and thought about the movie Ghost Dad where he actually died from that very thing. I found three pairs of dirty undies in Lena's closet and an opened box of frosted mini wheats on her bed. I wondered then, to myself, if I should make her sleep in shredded wheat.

Children are also the worst

and I probably won't shower today.


Yeah, it's like that.