Because Time Heals Nothing

If you ran into Jeff this past weekend and he stood staring blankly twirling his hair it's because he played the role of mother and father this weekend.

Well, he probably just played father.

In a desperate attempt to return life to my eyes I went to corn field filled Indiana. Alone. No children. By myself. Lena's send-off (oh the tears!) made me question if I should follow through. But once the guilt faded (surprisingly quickly;) the stress began to fade too and soon it was completely gone. I only flinched twice on the trip out when I heard the shrills of a screaming 3 year old. I was reminded that my only involvement in his crying was to simply walk away. So I did.

I stayed with my dad in Avon, the town where I grew up and graduated high school. I caught up with friends, stayed up late, slept in and hung out with my siblings all weekend long. Nothing but responsibility-free nostalgia. Come to think of it, it was a lot like high school.

lunch with dad and Ryan and no highchairs

I even managed to squeeze in a few Indiana favorites like riding around in American made cars and going to the (ghetto..seriously my skin was crawling) shooting range. I got really wild and went for a handful of rides on the back of a motorcycle (seriously, I consider that pretty wild), I even took my precious time showering and getting ready each day! Imagine that!

Proof of my Indiana wildness through a camera phone:

I forgot how much fun getting ready with a sister's opinion can be.

All that power in my hands was intimidating.

If you know how to shoot a gun and you are offended by the way I am holding the gun because clearly I do not, I understand.

who's enjoying themselves? me!

And an entire day spent downtown walking the canal and the streets of Indianapolis in picture perfect weather.

Everything is more exciting without responsibility you know. Did you not know?

When it came quitting time, I was ready to see my children.

But if I'm being completely honest, I must have really needed this trip because I couldn't be found crying myself to sleep in their absence not a once;)

Motherhood is a delicate balance.